Tuesday, 13 February 2018

Parentalia - Visit your long deceased ancestor today!

Today is the day to visit old Great Auntie Margery at her ancient walk in tomb.

Remember to take wine, flowers and milk as it is a well known fact that ghosts love them. However they also take great umbrage if you decide to get married today or if you worship at the local temple. There is nothing worse than a grumpy ghost so we at Wyrd Kalendar have created a poster for you to remember these important rules so that you can commune with the dead without fear of retribution.

If you are having trouble getting hold of Wine, Flowers and Milk you could try WINOWILK!
Developed by Parentalia Labs, this contains all the Wine, Flowers and Milk and ghost would needs and will guarantee you are safe from any hauntings by angry ancestral spectres!*

*Hauntings by angry ancestral spectres may still occur.

Thursday, 1 February 2018

February is here...

It is February.

Open the Wyrd Kalendar and venture into a cold world with a young woman who experiences the days of February that the rest of us miss.

It is a lonely month but you will have company from The Unthanks, Eels, The Incredible String Band, Colosseum, Jesus Jones, King Creosote, Chungking and others who muse on the month and its many frosty wonders.

Wyrd Kalendar is a Folk Horror Revival project that includes a folk horror mix inspired by each month, a book of short stories and illustrations (published in 2017) which you can buy here... and an accompanying album to follow later this year.

Extracts from Chris Lambert's "February 31st" read by Natasha Trott

Saturday, 27 January 2018

The Wyrd Kalendar Album - January Artist - Widow's Weeds

Last year we prepared for the publication of the book Wyrd Kalendar...

This year we are making ready an album of  the same name...

This new album will contain 13 tracks - 12 of which will be related to the stories from the book and the month of the year. The album will be released by the very groovy Mega  Dodo (who released Songs from the Black Meadow in 2016). All profits from the album will go to charity.

The artists have been given a month each, a copy of the linked story and Andy Paciorek's picture to give them a starting point and away they go!

We are very proud to reveal that the artist for January is the mysterious folk horror band "Widow's Weeds"with a track called "A Song for  January." Widow's Weeds are the brainchild of Grey Malkin who steered the wonderful band "The Hare and the Moon" through magick mists and ghostly glades until they shuffled off this mortal coil in 2017.

More information about the album and our other monthly artists will be released throughout 2018...

In the meantime enjoy this album from The Hare and the Moon entitled "The Grey Malkin".

Saturday, 20 January 2018

Saint Agnes Eve - Dream your way to conjugal happiness!

Martyred for steadfastly holding onto her virginity and eschewing all offers of matrimony Saint Agnes is of course an obvious choice of Saint to secure you a future husband.

At midnight throw hemp seed over your shoulder and an image of your future spouse will appear in your dreams. Speak the following incantation before you go to bed (ensure you sleep on your left side and chant the words three times);
"Saint Agnes is a friend to me
In the gift I ask of thee
Let me this night my husband see" 

Related image
Some dreams of suitors are underwhelming.
If you dream of a man, well done, that's your future husband! 
If you dream of lots of men you are going to get married many times. 
If you don't dream of any men it means you will live alone.
If you dream of thistles or thorny plants it means your husband will rarely shave.
If you dream of a puddle it means your husband will sweat profusely.
If you dream of poultry it means your husband's breath will smell.
If you dream of stew cooking in a pot it means your husband will be most bilious.
If you dream of a mouse it means your husband will be obedient.
If you dream of large velvet cushions it means your husband will comfortably rotund.
If you dream of white clouds it means your husband will be old.
If you dream of eggs it means your husband will be young.
If you dream of a desert it means your husband will give you no young. 
(Adapted from "The Dark Dreams of the Fertile Woman's Mind" - Sir Dalton Falsworthy 1831) 

Details of lots of saints and their interesting ways are available to explore in November's story "All Saints' Day"  in Wyrd Kalendar.

Saturday, 13 January 2018

Armour Day is Coming - Have you kept your resolution?

Stourton revived this old tradition in 1965 and will be meeting on Monday once again to "support  the irresolute".
It might be an idea to take a leaf out of Stourton's book. On Monday the entire village review their resolutions and those who do not meet them are given spiritual and very physical support. For more information read this earlier entry on this strange tradition.

As Armour Day approaches ask yourself whether you have slipped. Has your resolution been so quickly forgotten and abandoned? If this is the case help is at hand. At least it would be if you lived in Stourton, the rest of us will just have to muddle through.

Thursday, 11 January 2018

Scaring Witches the Burghead Way - "Burning the Clavie"

"Burning the Clavie" takes place in Burghead every January 11th. The act of burning a barrel of tar is said to scare away witches. At the end of the evening the townsfolk take a bit of charred wood to protect themselves through the year. 
Witches are easy to scare. 

This was a fact that King James explored in his “Daemonologie”. He reported that you could “scare a wytch by affixing a carrote to your fringe, buying up alle the local merchant’s stock of catte food or playing a boysterous round of Ha’Penny Shrimp”. He sang the praises of various towns for their methods of keeping witches away; from Corfe Mullen in Dorset with their “Wreaths of Dust Motes”, to the good folk of Glamorgan and their habit of painting “Spectacles on Fruite” or even the men of Redditch who would “Burpe long and loude into bented horns”  - all of these methods were successful at keeping Satan’s harridans away. It was Burghead in Scotland that really caught his eye. As everyone knows now, nothing scares a witch away more than a burning barrelful of tar. This activity is known as "Burning the Clavie" and it takes place every January 11th. Some say it is the smell, others say it is their innate fear of fire. Needless to say since its introduction in 1093 there have been only 2157 recorded incidents of death by “wicked magicks”. If it wasn’t for  the hard work and quick thinking of the people of Burghead this death toll would be much higher*. 

So this January 11th raise a glass to the people of Burghead and thank them for keeping us all that little bit safer.

For an exciting look at this year's Clavie burning check out this video on the Twitter.

*Some estimates would put this figure as high as 2173