Wednesday, 8 November 2017

Tug My Lug!


As everyone knows it is "Pully Lug Day" today!
This of course means (as you all know) that you can pull other people's ears without getting into any trouble at all.
But only in Carlisle.

If you want to pull ears tomorrow anywhere other than Carlisle it is vital that you follow the following rules:
1. All those who you want to pull the ears of must first consent to their ears being pulled.
2. This consent must be signed by yourself, the ear-pullee and four witnesses (one of whom must be a priest and the other a member of the local constabulary).
3. You must agree a time and location for the ear pull.
4. If at any time the ear-pullee changes their mind they must say the agreed ear-pull negation phrase (this will be recorded on the consent form).
5. You must ensure your hands are warm prior to the ear-pull.
6. At the cessation of the ear-pull a doctor must immediately check the ear and your hand.

Safe ear-pulling everyone!


A handy cut-out-and-keep poster for you to cut out and keep.

Saturday, 4 November 2017

Don't Dry Your Powder By The Fire!

The conspirators' risk assessment was sadly lacking. Prior to their execution they were sent on a three week Health and Safety course.
We all know about Guy Fawkes.
But many of us forget about the co-conspirators who were hiding at Holbeach House.
Soaking wet from the rain they decided to dry their powder in front of the fire.
The resulting explosion injured several of them and allowed the government's forces to locate and capture them with ease.

To help you remember the Gunpowder Health and Safety regulations King James commissioned Sir Bernard Fletcherly to write a song. It has been recorded for the very first time (since it was written in 1606) for Wyrd Kalendar

Enjoy and stay safe!

Wednesday, 1 November 2017

The Saints are on the March... The November mix...


The Saints are on the march and on the look out for sinners to punish this month so tread carefully upon the Kalendar Heath.

This month's mix features extracts from "All Saint's Day" the tale for November from "Wyrd Kalendar" which was published at the end of October 2017 and can be bought here.

As well as these extracts you will hear from the following musical artists exploring All Saint's Day, Bonfire Night and the month of November; The Silent Comedy, Blonde on Blonde, The Monroe Brothers, David Bowie, Gorillaz, Voice of the Seven Woods, Magnet, Cobra Verde, Eire Apparent, Lamb, David Cain, Shirley Bassey, Matt Berry, Carter USM, Dizzy Gillespie, Gram Parsons, New Model Army, Julie London, Tom Waits, The Will-O-Bees, Sammy Davis Junior, Sandy Denny, Peter Fonda, Pavlov's Dog, The Wilderness of Manitoba and Vashti Bunyan.

Tuesday, 24 October 2017