Saturday 27 January 2018

The Wyrd Kalendar Album - January Artist - Widow's Weeds

Last year we prepared for the publication of the book Wyrd Kalendar...

This year we are making ready an album of  the same name...

This new album will contain 13 tracks - 12 of which will be related to the stories from the book and the month of the year. The album will be released by the very groovy Mega  Dodo (who released Songs from the Black Meadow in 2016). All profits from the album will go to charity.

The artists have been given a month each, a copy of the linked story and Andy Paciorek's picture to give them a starting point and away they go!


We are very proud to reveal that the artist for January is the mysterious folk horror band "Widow's Weeds"with a track called "A Song for  January." Widow's Weeds are the brainchild of Grey Malkin who steered the wonderful band "The Hare and the Moon" through magick mists and ghostly glades until they shuffled off this mortal coil in 2017.

More information about the album and our other monthly artists will be released throughout 2018...

In the meantime enjoy this album from The Hare and the Moon entitled "The Grey Malkin".


Saturday 20 January 2018

Saint Agnes Eve - Dream your way to conjugal happiness!


Martyred for steadfastly holding onto her virginity and eschewing all offers of matrimony Saint Agnes is of course an obvious choice of Saint to secure you a future husband.

At midnight throw hemp seed over your shoulder and an image of your future spouse will appear in your dreams. Speak the following incantation before you go to bed (ensure you sleep on your left side and chant the words three times);
"Saint Agnes is a friend to me
In the gift I ask of thee
Let me this night my husband see" 

Related image
Some dreams of suitors are underwhelming.
If you dream of a man, well done, that's your future husband! 
If you dream of lots of men you are going to get married many times. 
If you don't dream of any men it means you will live alone.
If you dream of thistles or thorny plants it means your husband will rarely shave.
If you dream of a puddle it means your husband will sweat profusely.
If you dream of poultry it means your husband's breath will smell.
If you dream of stew cooking in a pot it means your husband will be most bilious.
If you dream of a mouse it means your husband will be obedient.
If you dream of large velvet cushions it means your husband will comfortably rotund.
If you dream of white clouds it means your husband will be old.
If you dream of eggs it means your husband will be young.
If you dream of a desert it means your husband will give you no young. 
(Adapted from "The Dark Dreams of the Fertile Woman's Mind" - Sir Dalton Falsworthy 1831) 

Details of lots of saints and their interesting ways are available to explore in November's story "All Saints' Day"  in Wyrd Kalendar.

Saturday 13 January 2018

Armour Day is Coming - Have you kept your resolution?

Stourton revived this old tradition in 1965 and will be meeting on Monday once again to "support  the irresolute".
It might be an idea to take a leaf out of Stourton's book. On Monday the entire village review their resolutions and those who do not meet them are given spiritual and very physical support. For more information read this earlier entry on this strange tradition.

As Armour Day approaches ask yourself whether you have slipped. Has your resolution been so quickly forgotten and abandoned? If this is the case help is at hand. At least it would be if you lived in Stourton, the rest of us will just have to muddle through.

Thursday 11 January 2018

Scaring Witches the Burghead Way - "Burning the Clavie"

"Burning the Clavie" takes place in Burghead every January 11th. The act of burning a barrel of tar is said to scare away witches. At the end of the evening the townsfolk take a bit of charred wood to protect themselves through the year. 
Witches are easy to scare. 

This was a fact that King James explored in his “Daemonologie”. He reported that you could “scare a wytch by affixing a carrote to your fringe, buying up alle the local merchant’s stock of catte food or playing a boysterous round of Ha’Penny Shrimp”. He sang the praises of various towns for their methods of keeping witches away; from Corfe Mullen in Dorset with their “Wreaths of Dust Motes”, to the good folk of Glamorgan and their habit of painting “Spectacles on Fruite” or even the men of Redditch who would “Burpe long and loude into bented horns”  - all of these methods were successful at keeping Satan’s harridans away. It was Burghead in Scotland that really caught his eye. As everyone knows now, nothing scares a witch away more than a burning barrelful of tar. This activity is known as "Burning the Clavie" and it takes place every January 11th. Some say it is the smell, others say it is their innate fear of fire. Needless to say since its introduction in 1093 there have been only 2157 recorded incidents of death by “wicked magicks”. If it wasn’t for  the hard work and quick thinking of the people of Burghead this death toll would be much higher*. 


So this January 11th raise a glass to the people of Burghead and thank them for keeping us all that little bit safer.

For an exciting look at this year's Clavie burning check out this video on the Twitter.

*Some estimates would put this figure as high as 2173

Sunday 7 January 2018

On Plough Monday beware the Plough Witchers...


Tomorrow is Plough Monday and an opportunity for all young men to dress as ladies and terrorise the local populace.
Image result for plough monday
It's all fun and games until the Plough Witchers wreck your front garden.

Work starts on Plough Tuesday but until then pay the Witcher's your toll or get your front garden ploughed!

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"Dance with me! Or  thy frontage I will plough!" the wicked Plough Witcher sang.
"I shall but only to preserve the innocence of my petunias..." replied the maid.

Saturday 6 January 2018

Happy Holly Night!


It's Holly Night tonight!
Get your marching band, light a branch of holly (Ash is an accepted substitute) and march through the town to the public house.
There is no need to extinguish the holly, just drink your ale and try not to singe your beard.

"To every branch a torch they tie,
To every torch a light apply,
At each new light send forth huzzas
Till all the tree is in a blaze ;
And then bear it flaming through the town,
With minstrelsy, and. rockets throwr."

The following information about Holly Night in Brough is taken from The Table  Book by William Hone

"Formerly the " Holly-tree" at Brough was
really " holly," but ash being abundant,
the latter is now. substituted. There are
two head inns in the town, which provide
for the ceremony alternately, though the
good townspeople mostly lend their assistance
in preparing the tree, to every branch
of which they fasten a torch. About eight
o'clock in the evening, it is taken to a convenient
part of the town, where the torches
are lighted, the town band accompanying
and playing till all is completed, when
it is removed to the lower end of the town;
and, after divers salutes and huzzas from
the spectators, is carried up and down the
town, in stately procession, usually by a
person of renowned strength, named Joseph
Ling. The band march behind it, playing
their instruments, and stopping every
time they reach the town bridge, and the
cross, where the " holly" is again greeted
with shouts of applause. Many of the inhabitants
carry lighted branches and flambeaus
; and rockets, squibs, &c. are discharged
on the joyful occasion. After the
tree is thus carried, and the torches are
sufficiently burnt, it is placed in the middle
of the town, when it is again cheered by
the surrounding populace, and is afterwards
thrown among them. They eagerly watch
for this opportunity ; and, clinging to each
end of the tree, endeavour to carry it away
to the inn they are contending for, where
they are allowed their usual quantum of
ale and spirits, and pass a " merry night,"
it seldom breaks up before two in the
morning.

Although the origin of this usage is lost,
and no tradition exists by which it can be
traced, yet it may not be a strained surmise
to derive it from the church ceremony of
the day when branches of trees were carried
in procession to decorate the altars, in commemoration
of the offerings of the Magi,
whose names are handed down to us as
Melchior, Caspar, and Balthasar, the patrons
of travellers. In catholic countries,
flambeaus and torches always abound in
their ceremonies ; and persons residing in
the streets through which they pass, testify
their zeal and piety by providing flambeaus
at their own expense, and bringing them
 to the doors of their houses.



Monday 1 January 2018

Happy New Year from the Wyrd Kalendar - Hold to the Resolution!


A perfect gift for anyone born in January.

Enjoy the January mix that includes extracts from the January Tale - "The Resolution" as well as music from Bert Jansch, The Owl Service, Animal Collective, LeonardCohen and many many more...